He held my body so tight last night, both of his hands wrapped around cupping the opposite breast, his tender breath on my neck, his hard dick on my butt, and his love engulfing me with the sweetest presence and intensity.
There was so much desire between us. I felt the surge when I tossed my head back and our lips met in one delicate kiss. He squeezed my bosom even tighter.
“Let’s cuddle and go to sleep,” my husband said nestled like a little boy in my bosom. His face rested on my breast and his tongue could reach one nipple which he lapped at happily. His legs intertwined with mine and his hands held my butt firmly. The position was the opposite of our usual puzzle piece spoon but equally comfortable.
“Cuddle and go to sleep?” I was genuinely surprised. “What would your 25-yr-old self think of you now? Curled up with a sexy lady and desiring sleep…”
“Oh, hush, Stella!”
After yesterday’s love making, I felt a shift in myself like a veil had lifted and a new Stella was born.
I let go completely to the notion that I needed to force anything in the bedroom including my own orgasms. My husband relieved me from the duties, and I gladly accepted his offer.
“We should have done this a long time ago, sweetie,” he said to me in bed last night. It was late, maybe 10:30pm and we each laid on our pillows facing the other. It was an intimate moment as we shared deeper thoughts about the day’s activities.
I’m so glad I’ve let this situation just be what it is instead of trying to fix it. In fact, I’m going to pat myself on the back for the patience.
Last night was another disappointment in the bedroom. We had time all last night to make love but my husband choose to spend it elsewhere crumbling into bed at 10pm tired and closed off. He did accomplish intercourse by the definition of the word although it was short-lived and awkward. Literally I coughed him out of me and fell asleep. Promise, it wasn’t sabotage but quite literally an ill-timed feather in my throat! And it took all of the strength I had to not criticize him for the lack of energy and lecture him again on my needs.
Day 15 was yesterday. I don’t know what else to say. My husband seems to want to have sex yet doesn’t seem to want to be sexy with me. The idea of helping me “get in the mood” annoys him right now. This no clit lent has turned our sex world upside down for sure and I don’t know when and where it’s going to end.
We cuddled last night and then again this morning. He touched all over my body before the alarm sounded and waited in bed for me to drop the kids off at school. I was surprised to find him watching our home made porn on his phone when I got back home.
To say that I’m disappointed is an understatement. The habit of disengaging for the entire weekend was the reason my husband and I started the 365 day sex challenge. I needed more connection, more life together, and we couldn’t figure out how to accomplish it without trying to force a round beg into a square hole.
But my husband seems to have let our challenge go completely. I let the checklist go last week when he called me “the rule maker” assuming he’d pick up the torch where I left it. So far, he hasn’t. I guess jacking himself off is quick and easy and it’s better than making love to a woman who takes too long to please, if she’s even pleased at all.
“Hey, My Love, can you bring me my ear plugs?” I texted my husband late last night from a downtown drag show. I’d gone with a couple of friends and was incredulous at how loud the concert hall actually was.
“Come get them and let’s fuck,” was his reply.
A male friend sitting next to me at the show read the text over my shoulder and huffed. “Well, I guess I can’t compete with your husband, now can I? I mean, just look at me. I’m skinny with a pot belly and your husband is gorgeous. And I’m a straight dude.” He paused a moment to take a swig of his drink. “Your husband is hot!”
We attempted to make love twice yesterday. By attempted I mean that he physical “stuck it in” but sex didn’t last more than maybe 10 seconds before it ended in a mutual standoff.
The first time was in the morning. I walked into the bedroom to throw my clothes on, yet detoured to the bed for a quick cuddle with my husband. He misread my body language and went right for the good stuff before I could communicate my needs. I needed to leave in three minutes and his desire seemed half-hearted at best.
It’s the opposite of lust around here and it feels a lot like real love with a splash of intermittent fear. The fear comes from worrying about the lack of desire both from myself and my husband.
We laid in bed last night and kissed. I rubbed his back and chest and we laughed about him being a “fat cat” despite his slender build. Like the cartoon Garfield, my husband was completely satisfied and ready for a nap! After a few moments, though, I could tell he felt the silent pressure.
“You know, babe, we didn’t fuck in the dressing room on Tuesday because it just didn’t feel right,” my husband said last night in bed. It was late, maybe close to 11pm and he was laying on his chest while I rubbed his back. Lovingly I scratched his skin with my long nails and listened […]
