Yesterday I did research.

Am I the only woman who thinks my clit is evil? Surely other ladies have come to this conclusion too. And surely those ladies (or gentlemen) will have some wisdom to share. But how exactly do you ask Google for this information? I tried a variety of options.

Stop touching clit. Minimize clit stimulation. Clit is bad.

Hell if I know how the people in this new community refer to their well hidden discovery! Perhaps there’s some popular hashtag only those in the know know to use? This is all new to me.

Of course, the first few pages of Google results yielded articles about women’s liberation, female sexual pleasure, interesting things one should know about clitorises, and the how-to guides for clitoral orgasms. There were also links to grim statistics about women around the world who face female circumcision and experience diminished sexual pleasure. Judging from the line up, it seems the clit is the holy grail of goodness for womankind and should be held in the highest esteem and treated like a lady’s only road to ecstasy.

The first slightly edgy information came from an “anal only” blog for couples who choose that form of sex over vaginal intercourse. It seems the clit is a necessary evil at the beginning of this lifestyle, one that must eventually be phased out in order to allow the anus to be come the center of pleasure for that person. Essentially, the author implied that the clit is an easy nuisance when a woman (or man) is trying to train their body to find deeper release in other areas of the body.

I found it interesting that a blog about going anal-only was the first and most comprehensive literature I could find in a pinch about this topic of minimizing the use of the clit. It’s as if, the people who take sex that seriously understand body-mind manipulation. They understand it takes discipline to get to higher levels of pleasure and common practices for the masses aren’t necessarily that thoughtful. Sometimes you need vear off the worn path to find the one less traveled. That one may lead to where you really want to go.

The next thing I found was a blogger Kim Anami who calls herself a sex and relationship coach and advocates for women being on a “cum diet” and finding deeper orgasms in their vagina. In essence, she was saying the same as the anal-only blogger except her emphasis was on growing more orgasmic sensations inside of the female body instead of just on the outside.

Whew, I’m getting closer to the right information, the people who are searching for more than the crap Vogue magazine displays on its cover. I’m finding the strict, disciplined, sex junkies who are free enough to enslave themselves short term if it means they’ll have more fun later, do exist and they are just as crazy as I am, if not more so.

My husband’s back is better but our idea about my not-cumming deal hasn’t shifted a bit.

“Let’s focus on stimulating my g-spot tonight,” I say winking to my husband last night. We were done with dinner and the kid tuck in and had moved our little party to the goddess palace bed. I was watching one of Kim’s sex videos.

He got up to grab something in the closet. “No, no we’re not, Stella.” He sounded a little aggressive, and it made my pussy tingle as little.

“Why not?” I legitimately didn’t know why he wouldn’t want to do that. My not-cumming was essentially my idea, he loves to make me orgasm.

“Because you need to wait longer,” he winked back, lowering his voice a little. “You’re not cumming for a least another week. Then, I’m going to make the most amazing love to you. You’re going to be so horny, so crazy with desire that you’ll ooze all over everything by the time I’m done with you.”

He’s really thought this through.

“But if you’re not a good girl, I’ll prolong it,” he warned. “Besides, I really like this arrangement. This cum diet looks good on you. You’ve never been this sexy. I’ve been cumming more too, at least twice a day which I really need.”

“Yes, you have. I’ve been loving your cum, baby. In fact, I need some more.” I said spreading my legs and pushing my white robe to the side.

He peeked out of the closet. I could see his soda can and whiskey glass in his hands. He’s making himself a stiff drink. “Gotta love a fucking whore.”

A pulse of ecstasy radiated from my pussy to my brain. I love our marriage and the way we’re learning how to be the best partners for each other. I love that he knows how I need to be treated. Wetness pulled at my opening. I spread my legs wider and he came closer surveying the scene.

“Put your butt in the air,” he demanded. “I want to see your pussy right here in my face.”

I slinked the robe completely off and turned to my stomach pressing my face and my breasts into the soft bed as I perched my golden ticket as high in the air as I could. I usually push one hand, my right hand, down between my legs at this point and begin rubbing my clit to make my pussy feel really good, but I didn’t. I can’t. No. No. No. Bad girl. Down girl. For right now, I’m just as hole for him to fuck.

I don’t know yet how to have internal orgasms. I do think I’ve had them before although I don’t know how to replicate it. I’m assuming an internal orgasm must stem from internal pleasure. So I need to concentrate on actually feeling sex, feeling him stimulate my pussy in every spot, and feeling his cum shoot inside of me, instead of feeling my own masturbation separate from his.

Like teaching a child to read, we’re starting first with the sexual alphabet. How does that feel? How does this feel? Simultaneously, we’re letting my desire build and not giving in to that evil clit who’s been running this school. She’s the smart kid in the class who keeps shouting out all of the answers, not giving anyone else a chance to pipe up. We got it! Put your hand down and keep your mouth closed. And in this case, we’re not touching you! We’re familiar with her orgasms. It’s time we teach the other parts of my pussy to be just as orgasmic too.

I reached not one but both hands down to my pussy and used my pretty long fingernails to spread my pussy lips wide open. I relaxed my pussy and surrendered my body to him. Whatever he wants, he gets. My pussy is his.

He bent down and licked my clit, teasing her to attention only to leave her for my little slice of real heaven. He licked all around the perimeter of my cave and dipped just the tip of his tongue in her.

“So pretty and pink,” he whispered to himself. “That’s my cum spot. That’s my tight little pussy ready to get my dick off.”

My husband stood up and wedged his huge cock into her one inch at a time. She opened wider and wider around him, stretching her lips as far as she could to make sure all of him was inside. It’s her job to take all of that dick. She loosened a bit more as I exhaled. He moaned.

“Fuck, that’s the best pussy. I’ve fucked a lot of pussy in my life and yours is the sweetest.” He was gloating now knowing he had what he needed to feel amazing. He knocked on heaven’s door and she opened. All he had to do was walk through.

I kept my fingernails in place propping my lips open the entire time he pumped me. It was exhilarating, forbidden almost to be in that position holding my pussy open and denying myself my own stimulation. Feel his dick, feel what your pussy is feeling. What does she like? What feels amazing? What doesn’t feel good? His pleasure doesn’t matter. This exercise is about me.

I relaxed more and surprised myself with a deeper moan and what felt like a gapping hole down there. “That’s good,” he chanted instantly. Whether he did it on purpose or not, his response was timed just right giving me permission to open more. I’m always concerned about being good and tight.

His dick tickled the bottom of my pussy. I didn’t try to zip her back up. Open, open, open, I kept saying to myself. This isn’t about him, it’s about me.

But I’m afraid the experiment came to an abrupt end.

He squirted his yummy cummy tonic inside of my body and we froze in time. I felt good, yes, appetized, yes, but not fully satisfied. I pulled away and rolled over to my back hurrying my fingers down to my crotch.

First I felt the wetness, then I slid my finger inside. I need more, I want more, I’m going to have more. My clit is screaming for me to touch her. Bad, Bad, Bad girl. I slap her. She won’t give it up. I then plunged two fingers into my juicy loosy whore.