We danced again last night in our bedroom. The competition is in three days. We ordered my husband some fancy dancy handmade leather tango shoes from Italy for the event. It took them three weeks to make and ship, but they arrived two days ago smelling up the kitchen with their leathery freshness when we opened the box.
“Wow,” he exclaimed when he squeezed his foot in one of them. “They fit my feet like a glove. This is amazing. Thanks, babe.”
His shoes are shiny black leather with a cool black paisley pattern fabric in the middle around the laces. Not exactly sure what that part is called. Perhaps in my spare time I’ll learn industry terminology of a cobbler.
For me, we ordered a handmade competition dress from Greece. It’ll be red velvet with slits up the back and side. It too has taken three weeks to make and ship and should arrive today. I hope it fits or I’ll have to do a quick two-day fast to slim down for the judges.
That’s the secret of the stars, you know. Fasting. Every major shoot or major event I have is preceded by a 1-2 day water only diet. That way when I step out in front of the camera, I look my absolute slimmest.
We didn’t make love last night, though, after the dancing nor did we make love this morning. But it’s not because we didn’t want to. I stepped out in front of the bed naked and waited for my husband to look my way. Once he did, I began to slowly put my clothes on! His eyes got big as I slipped my blue thongs into position and tightened my lacy bra to support perfection. He motioned me to come lay on him, and I did.
I was semi-dressed, and he tried to quickly undo it. I denied him entrance to my goddess cave.
“No. I have’t climaxed in like five days, babe.” I said sweetly as he caressed my butt with both hands. “I rarely cum with morning sex. I want us to wait for tonight.”
“Oh, I can do that, Stella.” He pinched my nipple through my bra and looked up at me. “I love fucking you when you’re horny. That’s when you’re the best. I can wait. Tonight, though, I’m going to make you scream.” He starts to imitate my sex moans.
It’s Thursday, and we have a social event tonight followed by our final tango lesson before the big day.
I leaned up to get off of him but he caught my panties with his hand. He pulled them to the side and attempted to finger me.
“No. You have to wait.” I teased as I moved further away. He was erect but patient.
“We also can’t have sex Friday night or Saturday morning,” he tells me. The competition is on Saturday evening and he wants us to being as sexually charged as we can be despite our daily sex challenge.
“That’s fine. But it could work to our disadvantage too.” I love playing devil’s advocate.
“Oh, Stella, hush!” He got out of bed, slapped my butt, and walked to the closet to change. “If I haven’t cum in more than 24 hours, I will be making love to you on the dance floor. Just watch.”
He’s a new man, dear reader. He used to balk at the thought of planning sex, but now he’s the ring leader of it. Sex is funny like that.
When you’re young and newly together, it’s this magical spontaneous thing. As you calm down and settle in, sex can disappear or become a chore. But that’s not the end. When you start to plan it, it becomes an event, a meeting, a scheduled activity. Rain or shine, you’ll be there, like a nail appointment. Lunch at 12, dentist at 2, and orgasm at 4.
When you start to plan sex, it’s not as much about raw desire as it is about need at first. He needs to cum; I need to connect. We need to do what we said we’d do! It’s not as thrilling as a serendipitous lovemaking, but it’s a heck of a lot better than not doing it at all.
And after awhile, you discover that our bodies are scientific machines you can learn and feed, not simply creatures of random emotion. Planning sex allows you the opportunity to crack the code of yourself and your partner. Once you uncover the formula, you have the power to create the magic instead of simply waiting for it. You know your partner’s rhythm, you know their biological needs, you know their dirty secrets, and you know how to tease. Planning sex teaches you that love is a verb, not a feeling. When you prioritize love, you give it more often. Feeling your sensuality is the gift that you receive.