Back Into Her Own

I’ve been so proud of myself for writing every single day. I have to admit that on days like today where I have no sex to talk about and no major issues to divulge, it seems silly to even open the computer, but write I must.

Choosing to write everyday is like choosing to make love everyday. It’s deciding what you want and keeping your eye on the ball, staying focused, and not letting the fear of imperfection sway you. Inaction is the only thing that will now disappoint me, and that’s the failure to limit distractions and reach my goals. Consistency is a skill I must build.

My Bustling Cackle

We laid in bed last night connecting. I told my husband my big dreams again, this time clearer than ever before. “I want to have a late night talk show with lots of laughs and drama and glam and fun,” I beamed looking up at the ceiling fan in our dimly lit room. “It’ll be a weekly show, well written by strong yet fiercely feminine women and distributed on Netflix or Hulu or something like that. Our audience will be professional women who are seeking more joy in life.”

He might have fallen asleep somewhere between women and joy, but my bustling cackle of a laugh stirred him back to our room and into the conversation. “Oh yeah?” his automatic reply, “Sounds like you’re getting ready to leave me!”

Heavenly Redemption

The veil of sadness has lifted and the sails of happy are back at full mast. Now that the blood of life is seeping out of my body releasing toxic energy in her wake, the world is bright once more.

After dinner last night a realization about pleasure hit me like a ton of bricks. I was cooking our food, fully enjoying the moment, dancing to the music and tasting the dishes as they simmered. All of the boys were at martial arts class, including my husband, and I looked forward to their return so we could all eat and I could hear all about it. As soon as they came through the door, though, my mood shifted and I instantly felt annoyed.

A Well-Fucked Woman

We missed our sex yesterday. Fuck, that makes 7 times in 2019. I don’t like starting a month from behind already. But we missed because he fell asleep and was nearly impossible to stir to life. Believe me, I took off his pants and tried. It’s a funny thing about a fat cat. My husband […]

Juicy Loosy Whore

Yesterday I did research.

Am I the only woman who thinks my clit is evil? Surely other ladies have come to this conclusion too. And surely those ladies (or gentlemen) will have some wisdom to share. But how exactly do you ask Google for this information? I tried a variety of options.

Stop touching clit. Minimize clit stimulation. Clit is bad.

Hell if I know how the people in this new community refer to their well hidden discovery! Perhaps there’s some popular hashtag only those in the know know to use? This is all new to me.

No, No, No More

He came in me not once but twice last night, and I was a ravage beast, fucking him like a whore in heat and begging for more, more more. The back massage worked and what I ended up with when we were laying down in bed was my old husband again, the horny one dying for pussy.

“I haven’t orgasmed in 36 hours,” he said wanting me to feel sorry for him.

“I haven’t orgasmed since Friday or Saturday or… I forget now,” I tease back, “It’s just been so fucking long.”

Greeting the Day with It

My husband has got to be one of the sexiest men in the world. I think his masculinity is what does it. He’s rough and tumble with a hint of class. He’s always on a mission, making calls, building things, directing logistics, and buying materials. That’s what I saw out of the window Saturday morning.

I was sipping coffee and enjoying the fact that I’d slept in. My body was refreshed and soft like I’d been kissed by the youth fairies and could take my time starting the day. My husband was already in his weekend work attire of blue jeans, work boots, and a blue Hawaii t-shirt. I heard him through the glass tell his son something like, “When I move the truck, you need to watch this latch to make sure it doesn’t slip” and “I’ll meet you at the work site in 10.”

Trading the Old for the New

We made love for a solid hour last night. It was slow and meaningful the way unrushed kisses make you vulnerable, and he pried into my world, my inner most protection and shame through it. Sex last night was a trip down memory lane.

I think it was the whiskey that did it. My husband isn’t generally that gentle and prodding. We started with me on top talking about our wild sex from the day before. Two orgasms that day lessened my desire yesterday which factored in to the slowness of our pace.

The Treats in His Dream

He came home like a serpent yesterday afternoon, slithering in with a smile and a secret purpose. His arms tucked around me as he listened to the kids’ stories from school. He was alert and in the moment.

Something about his demeanor screamed we were about to be fuckin’, although I’m not sure exactly what it was. He kissed me sweetly and gently caressed my hand pulling me ever so slightly towards our bedroom, the goddess palace. I caved and walked with him.

Then the door locked behind me.

Used to Losing in Court

I cried a river yesterday.

Court and I were not made for each other, that’s for sure. I’m way too emotional in an environment of the mind. My husband should have come with me, he should have been by my side. I didn’t think about it until it was too late and the attorneys were rattling off compromises like auctioneers. I was feeling alone and overwhelmed, not sure who to trust, not wanting to fuck my decision up, not wanting to ever come back again.

A few miles from the courthouse is a deep pile of rocks that line a point by the ocean. It’s secluded and peaceful because few people brave the climb down to find it. Barefoot is how I got down with my heels in my hand. I cried harder down there, engulfed in the late February wind, the loud haunting call of the seagulls, the overcast sadness on everything and the repeating words coming from within. You lost again. You always lose to him. Your ex always wins.